poverty jet-set: 13th

let's talk about rock of love tour bus this week. first of all. this bitch is the star of the crazy rodeo:

brittaney. she is an ex-porn star. her fake boobs are old, wrinkled, and laced with stretch marks. they resembled blue ribbon cantaloupes from 1984.

not to mention that she burst into tears several times in the episode, and pulled the race card on natasha, telling her she got a VIP pass because she's black. "i'm not that crazy wild naked person anymore." well, she isn't naked... i love how they play murder music when they show her.

(this picture does her no justice.) to natasha's credit, her retaliation was "you tan to get closer to my complexion, bitch." after which brittany sniffles "my grandfather was black," and reiterates this in her confessional shot, adding, "he was a beautiful black man." o rly? how did he feel about ur pornoz lol?

another two of my favorites:

marcia has said about herself: "im a sweet brazilian bombshell" which is a dumb thing to say. she also says "wooooo, TEQUILA!" with that unnecessary spanish accent and makes the rock sign way too much.

but i still like her. she had beef with this bitch last week, the highlight of which was something like "i'm not just going to let this bitch throw chips at me"

um, hi! your face is scary as fuck! what else is there to say? she looks like she's had botox already and like something is always stinky.

now they're best friends, because they like tequila and have the same earrings! yayy!!!

this is farrah, who won a VIP pass for borrowing mystery's big furry top hat for her and brett's fake wedding. to be fair, he was dressed like a twink chippendale.

g-a-y!

the penthouse pet is STILL the classiest one.

here she is giving bret the lingerie from her first penthouse shoot. point made.

this one was eliminated this week. she has a masters in storytelling...