blogger just doesn't do it for me anymore, because i'm simple.



ask me anything:


and the holy grail of lurking:



it's a very special combination that took me 24 years to cultivate! although, let's be honest, it was mostly not me.

paranoia, psychosis, neuroses, and anxiety. too tired of waiting it for it to fix itself, i've chosen living instead, but how long does this dumb batshit bullshit take to reverse?! just wondering.


i don't know why exactly, but i am in love with this dirty little mess. after listening to her album, i feel like we could hang out. the song "stephen" is basically about how she can land any dude except the one she's super into, who isn't down. the whole thing is a series of party jams with gems about reckless crushing ("do i make your heart beat like an 808 drum?"), raging harder than is ladylike, odes to hooking up, and thinking the world of yourself even if you're kind of a mess to everyone else. props also to her adorable talking at the end of songs ("i like your beard") which totally makes her sound awkward but not in that annoying "i'm so quirky" way. AND she dresses like she's totes batshit and absolutely pulls it off. all i'm saying is, hop on! and ke$ha, come over and do my glitter eye makeup and let's go out and slay dudes, i swear i can hang.


2009 in pop songs. do you need to know anything else?


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorEconomy

merry christmas, here's stephen colbert rapping in a suit jacket hoodie.


I think I am figuring out what I really want to do. It has to do with books and movies. So consider my ideal job search expanded to include another low-paying field.


i returned to la from chicago today. i'm wondering if you can only really love things you have a history with, the same way you can only hate things you have a history with. applied to both people and things.

goddamn if the whole place doesn't make my heart hurt in such a great way, make me think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if i had to go back, because of just being there. tacos in the middle of the night and $4 jameson drinks, a whole mess of good looking dudes, children and dogs that love me and i love back, being able to hang with my family. i mean who knows. maybe moving back would still mean failure and it's a consolation prize, but i guess there are worse ones.


feeling stuck between mediocre and below average is tiring, and i want to get to a point where i can focus on the one thing i'm good at and have it be appreciated and have everyone else take care of the rest, or at least a point where i'm past caring (not really that second one). we all have a place and i refuse to believe i've found mine because i am neither comfortable or satisfied yet and i have so much more to do.

i just want to lose 15 pounds and live in brooklyn and tell people how to make books into movies and have a puggle/yorkie terrier.

and i'd like everyone in my life to be as unwavering as the friend i celebrated a 5th anniversary with yesterday, because if i have to be the way i am at least i get to have someone else to understand it.

i don't think that's too much to ask.

photo: pleasefindthis.blogspot.com


"imma let you finish but..." this is adorable as fuck.