23rd



ahahaha fuck.

23rd

unfortunately i can't embed this because it's been disabled but this video for lenka (track: the show) was produced by my friend steve buchanan, and i think it's adorable and i love watching it. it gave me a little bit of a crush on lenka and i can't wait to work with steve again... knowing the budget on the video, he is basically a wizard.

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nTSU-mFWGs

22nd

i'm editing this because i don't remember what i was talking about when i wrote it. the joys of alcohol, kids. they include the possibility of panting and ill-advised text messages.

15th

for 4 years now, i have had a friend that it was strange not to know before that. the upside is honest conversations, lack of a need to try, and laughing at things no one else would even find to make sense. the downside is the occasional pain of the heart on her behalf. i am generally grateful for the people that made her, and one is now gone. she possessed a lot of qualities that i hope to have later in my life and most of all, she loved at full volume in ways that those who refused to try to did not understand.

elizabeth colliard, myself and a lot of silkworms thank you and bid you goodnight.

14th




personal fave.

12th

i posted last night and i deleted it, because it was a little too melo-d for my tastes.

basically last night for the first time in a long time i felt like i was really in l.a., where not being cool enough means that genuine sincerity is lost on people who only want you to be a joke. they're not going to tone it down for me, so when i try to be real it's like setting myself on fire. don't worry though, if you're already in the club you can be addressed like a real person.

the irony is that some people think i'm honestly an asshole... turns out others don't want me to be anything else. further irony is that everyone can suck a d.

9th



that's a bad day. i took a picture of my eye but it was both a weak depiction and too gross to show so i think it's best left to the imagination.

thanks a lot, target eyedrops, you really fucked my weekend.

here's a riddle: what can you do when your eyes are damaged? answer: sleep. (or pretend to.)

for fuck's sake, do NOT go to county hospital. do not put yourself in a position that means you have to go to county hospital. get good insurance and go to cedars. or seattle grace, if you live in fantasy land/ on abc.

5th

oh grow up. i don't want to start fights on the internet, with teenage cousins of mine or anyone else. but boohoo, when you make more money you have to pay more taxes. sorry but that's why government runs the way it does. like it or not, we have to help each other. and you think that's so drug addicts and lowlifes and deatbeat dads can steal your money for welfare and unemployment and- god forbid- socialized medicine?

what about a friend or a cousin or a niece? maybe she needs your tax money, for her unemployment and her health care. even though she went to one of the top 25 most prestigious (and expensive) universities in the country, and has an experience level worth at least 50k a year. open your eyes. you aren't just "sharing the wealth" and getting your money stolen by lazy people. the economy is shit, and now even the most employable of graduates needs government help.

obama runs this shit now.

4th

if you're not voting today, lose my number.



for anyone who thinks that voting for an obama is voting in a popularity contest, or supporting something because i want the cast of gossip girl to support my political decisions, i can assure you that my political beliefs are 100% based on my own needs and thoughts, and really, quite selfish.

i want hybrid cars to come with tax breaks so i can get one and gas is cheaper. i want socialized medicine so i can get my back and other mysterious ailments fixed. i want my student loans to entitle me to pay less taxes and i don't want them to quadruple just because i had to get them privately. i want to be able to get an abortion, forbid it becomes necessary. i want to live somewhere that tries to increase diversity to compensate for the thousands of years of history dedicated to advantages for being white and having a penis. i want there to be increased unemployment while the economy recovers, because i don't want me and my friends to starve. i want jobs to stay in america, so myself and everyone i know who has graduated within 5 years of this one doesn't get an ulcer working a job they hate or having no job at all.

i know that both obama and mccain support same sex civil unions but not marriage, and that that they both believe its a decision that should be left to individual states. i know that they have similar views on some environmental and educational issues, and some regarding immigration.

there are plenty of other things i could comment on, but i'm not sure if my credibility extends to feelings on foreign policy. what i can assure you is that my vote is educated. is it selfish? hell yes. but isn't that the reason for a democracy? everyone tells the government what THEY need and the government, in turn, attempts to provide it? a utopian theory, for sure. but in the most basic sense, it's the truth.

is there an element of obama being like a cool uncle who gives his wife pounds and has a good sense of humor? yes, for me, there is. because i also want the leader of my country to be relatable, and i can't relate to a really old dude and a pretty talk show host of a VP nominee. i can relate to a black guy who grew up in chicago. i can relate to the child of a single mother who has a world of expectations upon him. i can relate to a guy who wants black teenagers to know that they aren't that good at basketball and they aren't lil wayne and they need to go to college (that is an actual quote). but just like at work, when i want to work with a less experienced crew member who i get along with better, yes, this is part of my decision. i don't deny it and i also don't apologize for it. you know who else was a sweet dude? clinton. he was so cool he got bjs on the job. now, he should have owned up to it, true. but he was in office from when i was 7 to when i was 15. a core part of my childhood. in this time period, my mom was 27 to 35, which is pretty key in a person's life as well. if bush had been in office while my mom was at such a critical point in her career, i doubt we could have bought a home in 2001. i doubt i would have been able to visit a european country every year i was in high school. she believes this and i do as well. when i was 7, i'm pretty sure i liked ross perot but i think that had more to do with the fact that he looked like a cartoon character (hence the voting age...). i am not 7 anymore. i am not making a decision based on superficiality or celebrity endorsements and i'd like to send a big fuck you very much to anyone who thinks that's all an obama supporter is. i don't fault you if you support mccain, because i'm sure you have reasons that relate to YOUR situation. but if it's because you want to dare to be different, then here's a fucking hot topic studded belt for being so different that you don't like the different guy because too many other people do. give it a rest. and if someone isn't the brightest bulb in the box and they want to vote obama because someone they think is cool does (or if they want to vote mccain for this reason), that's fine too. because when you're simple, that's all you have to go on, and why else would the advertisement industry be the lucrative monster that it is unless we were in such large part a simple people, or a people too lazy to educate themselves about their options? i don't identify with it because i did my research, but if someone is just voting based on relatability to serena van der woodsen, then go on that if it's all you got. at least you're voting.

though i have no qualms with people who identify strongly with a religion, i don't see myself as one by any means. what i do identify with is the need to rely on a force bigger than oneself. but that doesn't have to mean a god or jesus christ, who was kind of a babe. today it just means america. so instead of praying i am pleading that you cast your personal request for a leader who will serve your selfish ends. and if you're the average person, not a rich person, the kind making less than $5 million a year (john mccain's estimate for the upper border of the middle class... i think i speak for everyone when i say "wtf"), that leader should be barack obama.

this country has become a joke. after 8 years of one of the worst examples of guidance in history, why wouldn't you be ready to try something as different as possible?

unconventional leaders become legends.

2nd

i've got fun to report and pictures to go with it, but i'm waiting for access to them first.

something has been going on for a little while that i initially didn't have a problem with... sometimes even supported, because i thought it would have some sort of productive, peaceful end. i now realize that it won't and my feelings on it have turned to a (familiar) nausea and repulsion, because people don't change and i don't have the kind of patience for tired methods that i once had. it's great to know you're on someone's mind, but not if it turns out they never got a single point you tried to make.

last night was great but i displayed my new skill of walking away instead of fighting with people more than once, and this is just one more to add. this is me getting it out of my system. there's no need to tell anyone what they've done anymore. if they don't know, they (still) don't get it, and telling them won't change that on a bigger scale.